There are several definitions of feminism out here:
- The advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes (Google.com)
- A range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women. (Wikipedia.org)
- The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
- Refers to any ideology that seeks total equality in rights for women and people who self-identify as women, usually through improving the status of females. (RationalWiki.org)
- The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. (Dictionary.com)
With the above definitions in clear view, we can conclude that overall the feminist movement is calling for equal rights for women, for anyone who identifies as women to be seen as equals to men, and for women’s “roles” in society to be respected. Some feminists even define feminism as something that helps both sexes achieve equal rights.
I feel that all women can and have benefited from feminism in their own ways. We can’t deny that. Feminism has been a movement that has existed since the 1800s (when the first suffragists rounded up and organized their movement to push for the right to vote). And these movements have shaped the “feminine” identity to this very day.
All women who work, go to school, have sexual relations freely, chose their partners, wear short skirts, pants, and shorts, speak their minds on the internet, and vote should thank the efforts of both peaceful and radical feminists. Women today can’t help but be feminists. As Oprah Winfrey put it, “I don’t think you can really be a woman in this world and not be.” I completely agree with this statement.
I myself, as an African American woman, continue to benefit from the movement. I work, I’ve graduated from college, I have assumed a leadership role, I write this blog to speak my mind publicly, I’m single and love it, I adore androgynous clothing, and I have interests not assumed by most women (such as loving to play video games).
However, I believe it is possible to benefit from feminism, to support equal rights, without agreeing with what every feminist says or thinks. Not all feminists have the same intentions regarding feminism, and it is safe to say that “Third-wave” feminism (modern feminism), the feminism that exists today, has taken a completely different turn.
Julienne Davis, a feminist writer, spoke out about the “third-wave” of feminists in her article “How Did Feminism Get Hijacked By Man-Haters”. Her article inspired me to write this one.
Many feminists are very effective when it comes to pushing women towards a more “inclusive” future. This article is not for those women who really and truly want to help all women.
I want to assume that most feminists have good intentions, but based on some articles and comments I’ve read on the internet, in books, and in essays written by those who were associated or identified as feminists, I can definitely see why some people are no longer taking the feminist movement as seriously and why some women don’t even want to be associated with the movement.
After searching around, I’ve discovered 8 Types of feminists that not only irritate me, and others, but make us all literally sick. In no particular order, I will discuss what is so irritating about them.
1. The “Slut-Shamers” (SWERFS)
I felt this was important to talk about first because it has increasingly been affecting movies, music, music videos, video games, and even TOYS.
There are two reasons why the “slut-shamers” make me sick:
- They fail to understand the historical sexual restriction placed on women and how that continues to impact women.
- Their nit-picking to producers has been effective in limiting female artistic expression and creative female representation in media and other entertainment avenues.
Many feminists are against the exploitation, objectification, and over-sexualization of women, particularly when done by men. I can understand this well. Obviously, women don’t want to be looked at as “objects”, as tools of men, and want to be respected beyond their appearances. Mutual consent is an important topic as well as how sexuality in media influences young girls, who normally aren’t ready to handle the consequences that come with a sexual identity and sexual experience. Of course, mothers don’t want to encourage their daughters to sexually exploit themselves and they want to get a hold of teen pregnancies (which is said to claim over 700,000 teen girls a year). Teen pregnancy affects a female’s body and socioeconomic conditions severely. I get this.
But I can see why the “Feminist Sex Wars” ensued. There has to be some sort of balance, where women are both in control of their sexuality as well as free to express it.
These Feminists Set Us Back to the 19th Century
For centuries before the 1920s, sexuality was considered strictly for men. In fact, doctors in the 19th century believed that women felt “little or no sexual desire, and that only abnormal or ‘pathological’ women felt strong sexual desire” (“Women in Literature”, Kimberly M. Radek-Hall, 2001).
However, once women began to openly speak about their own sexualities, their right to choose their own sexual partners, and their right to express their sexuality “creatively” or in entertainment, men apparently seemed too “on-board” with this transition, to the point women became looked at as sexual objects by some men. That’s when the new wave of feminists began to debate whether women should be “sex-positive” or “anti-pornographic”.
I personally feel that the feminist movement should support all women. With that being said, I believe that women should have the right to express themselves in any way they like IF they are at a responsible age to handle the consequences. Each woman should be in charge of her “image” towards men or anyone else. If she wants to be looked at as an “object” by men or admired for her body, who are we to tell her she can’t? Or if she just wants to wear less clothing because she lives in a warm climate or because she wants to show off the latest fashion artistically, who are we to tell her she’s wrong? If we are at a point where we believe women should be on the same social plane as men, we should extend those rights we give to men that we give to women.
In fact, I feel we slut-shame women more than we do men, when statistics show that there are more teen dads out here than teen moms, and with more than one child! So much more so, in fact, that they can’t even keep a consistent count! And men are not shamed or protected by their families. I feel it would be more useful to try to get control of these young men because, apparently, they have the issue here! But if we are not going to say or do anything about our sons, why even try with our daughters? We can’t limit one side of the spectrum without limiting the other.
I especially find it to be super judgmental and contradictory to try to control what a female wears by shaming her into fitting another woman’s standards of beauty and decency. For many slut-shaming feminists, acting sexually isn’t the worst part. Dressing “sexually” is condemned by these feminists as well.
I can understand if someone wants to restrict a child from wearing revealing, see-through clothing and walking around as if she wants male attention. Obviously, a child is not mature enough to advertise herself in that manner. But a grown woman, with her own job, house, and car is old enough to do what she wants with herself. She’s fully prepared to handle the consequences, and no one should stop her from doing what she wants.
And some of these feminists define “sexualized fashion” as a tank top and shorts. These are the feminists that won’t let up on females even if it was 100 degrees outside!
They fail to understand that what one person finds “modest” and “beautiful” is not going to be the same for another person. They fail to understand that climate and weather impacts the way a woman dresses. And they fail to understand that styles always change.
Before the 1920s, a one-piece bathing suit was considered indecent. Now, these slut-shaming feminists have suddenly become accepting of it. Why? Women show more skin in a bathing suit than they do in shorts and a tank top! But a mini skirt is worse than a one-piece bathing suit?
There are women in warm climates around the world who live and work in villages and move about their day-to-day life topless. And only western feminists will garble about how these women are “objectifying us all”.
These feminists are even coming after the cheerleaders, claiming that no one can see the girls as “well-rounded” people because they’re just valued for their skimpy appearances. People ignore the tremendous amount of athleticism, determination, and talent that it takes to be a cheerleader. Especially when it comes to football, many cheerleaders are major sports fans, family members to some of the athletes, or simply had a dream of dancing. There’s more to it than “skimpy outfits”. That’s not the primary reason many women choose to be professional cheerleaders. The so-called “skimpy” outfits allow the cheerleaders to move around more. Yes, many of the women might be admired for their appearances and may enjoy that aspect, but this doesn’t mean others don’t see the other values they have, especially if they are able to do back-flips, hand stands, and pyramids.
Even gymnasts are attacked by some of these feminists for being in an “objectifying” sport. I guess the “skimpy” leotards needed to perform such athletic stunts are just too much for these women.
There is also this fear of female “self-objectification”. “Self-objectification” is “when the objectifying gaze is turned inward, such that women view themselves through the perspective of an observer and engage in chronic self-surveillance” or the other definition is”regular exposure to objectifying
experiences that socializes girls and women to engage in self-objectification, whereby they come to internalize this view of themselves as an object or collection of body parts” . Basically, the woman is too aware of her appearance and how it influences others, and society has something to do with it. The study The Relationship between Female Self-objectification and Extra-curricular Activities by Tanjare’ C. McKay produces an online survey to try to see the relationship between extra-curricular activities and “self-objectification”. They were particularly looking at extra-curricular activities that seemed to “objectify” women’s bodies, such as ballet, gymnastics, dance, and cheerleading.
Would you like to know the results of that study?
The purpose of this study was to
examine self-objectification among female students who participated in an extra-curricular activity here at
Eastern Michigan University. Undergraduate females were [to] be offered the opportunity to take an online
questionnaire that assessed extracurricular activities, self-objectification, mood, body shame and appearance
anxiety. It was hypothesized that females who participated in activities where the body as beauty was a major
component would have a higher self-objectification, whereas females who participated in sports where the
body as function was the major emphasis would have lower levels of self-objectification. Our study hypotheses
were not supported and, in fact self-objectification was lower in activities thought to foster self-objectification.
The reasons for this are unknown but would make an interesting future study.
Basically, women in those “objectifying” sports did not have any higher self-objectification than any other women. In fact, many of these sports revealed LESS self-objectification. Gee, I wonder why. I can take a very good guess. Women do the things they ENJOY. These sports, for them, are every bit about the activity itself as it is about the cute outfits they get to wear.
So, my overall conclusion to this point is that the real issue isn’t about how women are socialized but how MEN are socialized. It doesn’t matter if a woman was wearing skimpy clothes or fully dressed. If men are groomed to value only her body and nothing else, that’s what he’ll do. We need to focus more on that problem than what women are wearing.
I worked with a Muslim woman. She was fully covered, but she was well-dressed. Her outfits had some splashes of color and she would have a matching headscarf and shoes. Well, during the summer, she came with this beautiful white and turquoise hijab, matching long loose tunic, and matching loose trousers or pants. She had white sandals. It was close to a very special celebration for Muslim people. ALL of the men in the building were talking about how beautiful she was. ALL of them. She even gave a lecture, and all they kept talking about was how GORGEOUS she was!
Men will objectify because men are ALLOWED to, while women are condemned from expressing themselves because they will “tempt” the man. He’s never held accountable, it’s all her fault. In my opinion, this is a dangerous mindset because it makes women responsible for men’s actions and punishes them on behalf of men. I don’t agree with it.
Sure, it irritated me when my mother would criticize my boyish looks and tell me, “You can’t keep a man looking and acting like a boy all the time.” Still, I don’t blame my mother for feeling that way. She’s not feeling that way out of thin air. This came from her experience with men.
Again, why should women have to stop wearing bright colors, jewelry, or showing more skin because it makes men-folk feel uncomfortable?
Then, there’s the issue with their “attack” on makeup. I can understand that in our culture, women have too many expectations on them to look beautiful. I understand that feminists should push for women to be more natural. And for those women who want to be all-natural, I think it’s a great stand.
However, we shouldn’t condemn a woman who likes to wear makeup, and we especially shouldn’t assume they want male attention and that they are “sluts”.
Makeup has been worn by people (not just women) for centuries, even in the Egyptian empire. Men and women in South Korea wear makeup. It is an art form. Makeup can express many different feelings at one time. People who enjoy art enjoy makeup. But these slut-shaming feminists often lack an appreciation for art. Makeup is just associated with “sexualization” and “the search for male attention”.
It’s worse when these women are guilty of the same things they condemn other women for.
Instead of focusing on how women are dressing or how much makeup they’re wearing, maybe we should be focusing on the men who only see these women as sex objects and work on getting them some mental help instead.
Next, I want to talk about pole dancing, prostitution, and erotic dancing.. I do understand that coerced or forced prostitution (prostitution for money as a result of poverty, rape, pimp rings, etc) and sex trafficking are both dangerous and horrible ways for women to live. These issues should be addressed. But if a woman decides she wants to become a prostitute, and use her tricks to create a business, why shouldn’t she? I don’t think this should be illegal and I don’t think we should judge these women or men. They aren’t harming anyone, they’re just trying to make money using the only resource they can at the moment (even if that “resource” is their body). I mean, it’s their body and no one else’s. We talk about women having more control of their bodies. That’s their decision. I’m not going to judge a woman because she enjoys being a porn star or because she enjoys making money from it as long as she’s an adult or at a responsible age where she understands the consequences, such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
The SWERFS believe that prostitution came from an “oppressive patriarchal” society. They believe it emerged at a time when women couldn’t make enough money to feed themselves and so resulted to giving up their bodies and being sex objects to get paid. But if we really think about it, just about everything a modern woman does and wants to do came out of a “patriarchal” society. Jobs like being a secretary, homemaker (stay-at-home moms), and maids came out of an oppressive patriarchal society, and yet we don’t suddenly condemn them or exclude them, even though those jobs put women in submissive roles. So why condemn porn stars or prostitutes just because they have jobs that came out of an oppressive patriarchal society? And if the women enjoy doing it, why comment at all?
No it’s not okay for a child to make that decision. No, it’s not okay for a woman to be black-mailed, coerced, or forced into prostitution. However, if she PERSONALLY organizes her business and picks her clients, I’m not mad at her. I personally don’t want to live that life (then again I’m even allergic to dating), but it’s her life. Let’s not forget.
I also want to add that female prostitutes are often more criticized than the men who are actively participating in it. They are more villainized than male prostitutes. Some countries have a ban on female prostitutes, but no such restrictions on men. Society often wants to punish women for trying to make a living from prostitution instead of actively seeking to change society so that poor women have other options.
Slut-Shaming Feminists Have Destroyed Artistic Expression
Though both sides are in the war, the “anti-pornographic” feminists have mostly dominated in the 21st century, influencing movies, tv shows (like the Powerpuff Girls), music videos (like Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj), video games (like Tomb Raider), and even toys (like Bratz, Barbie, Betty Spaghetty, and even Monster High).
In most cases, too, these kinds of feminists take their criticisms too far. As a major toy and animation fan, I have personally witnessed how slut-shaming feminists have destroyed amazing, creative, and empowering doll lines, fun video games with iconic characters, and lovable cartoons with their nit-picking.
While I admit that Tomb Raider‘s Lara Croft gives an above-average body portrayal (more on this later), she’s also pretty daring and edgy, really showing that women are capable of anything. It’s no different from the body portrayals of Captain America, Superman, or Thor (which women ironically support and “eat” up). Yet, the feminists picked at the Tomb Raider video game so long and so hard, the producers had to alter this iconic character. Many people claim that it had nothing to do with feminists, but we all know feminists have been complaining about that game (and many others) for years now. I don’t understand. What’s wrong with a woman who has a big chest? Some women have it, some don’t. So what? She’s not meant to look real, just like Superman and Thor.
Next…
While the Bratz dolls have been known to wear some of the most outrageous fashions and makeup, they have broken many fashion molds for a doll line. While most girls are expected to look “cute” and “modest”, the Bratz dolls have proven that a passion for fashion and breaking molds can be just as empowering. They were targeted for a tween to teen audience, and didn’t mind dressing like rock stars, jungle queens, Tokyo tourists, you name it. Makeup was used as an art form on the dolls. The Bratz never cared about the social rules. They never let these restrictive “standards” define them. Until the slut-shaming feminists got a hold of them.
Ironically, Bratz dolls have been one of few that have been respected by a male audience. While most of the males did focus on the “fashion” that the Bratz wore, most never looked at them as “sex icons”. They had big heads and big feet; they looked too much like cartoon characters to have been taken as the same sexual models we see in Playboy or Sports Illustrated magazines. Many males have stated that they liked the Bratz dolls because “they [were] unique and appealing”, “unique, cute, adorable, and wonderful”, “the look, the fashion, and the movies and episodes”, and the “high-quality clothes”. To most males, the Bratz are “unique”, well-dressed, with good movies and shows, not overtly “feminine” and “girl-centered” like other doll lines. None of the guys think these dolls are “hot” or “sexy”, but rather bold and original. So, the only ones seeing the “sexualization” of these dolls are feminists. The rest of us are seeing the sass, the boldness, and their girl power.
From what angle do these feminists draw their conclusion? I grew up with Bratz. Am I a prostitute? No. Was I a teen mom? No. And my vision of the Bratz as a tween was that they were strong, bold, and passionate, ready to take the world by storm (similar to how I saw the Spice Girls). It would’ve been different if they were designed as sexy, attractive girlfriends for a line of male dolls. But the Bratz never portrayed themselves nor never have been portrayed as sex icons, not by males, not by fans, not by anybody. I see more sexual innuendos out there for My Little Pony than I do the Bratz. And what is wrong with having a passion for fashion? Didn’t anyone get the memo that the fashion industry is dominated by male designers? We need to encourage our ladies to think outside of the box, to be the inventors, the designers, the inspiration behind everything. We should be encouraging girls to push the envelope, to explore their passions.
Even young ladies today (the ladies who haven’t been brainwashed by these feminists’ propaganda) can clearly understand that the Bratz are an example of “self-expression” through fashion, and these dolls boldly announce that women can show skin (artistically) without necessarily trying to be attractive to a MAN. I have yet to speak with any tweens or teens that referred to the Bratz as “sexy”. You can see this from some of the comments on Youtube and other SNS websites dedicated to the Bratz. The only people who don’t seem to understand that are the slut-shaming feminists. They want to believe there’s some deep-seated misogynistic feelings these young ladies are “inheriting”… I hardly call the Bratz a form of “male hate” or “male supremacy”, but imagine whatever unicorns you want, my dear.
Moving along…
I want to talk about the new re-vamped Powerpuff Girls cartoon and the controversy regarding Ms. Bellum. I understand that Ms. Bellum’s design was just a body in a sexy suit without a face. But she actually had more of a role than these feminists think. She was the power behind the mayor’s incompetence, she was a confidante for the kindergarten superheroes and a female figure in these girls’ lives, and she was a single, hard-working lady, strong, sexy, and beautiful. Her role had many other messages and undertones. Without her in the series, something is missing.
But apparently, slut-shaming feminists don’t want to leave room for a diverse range of female representations. They would rather all women be the same dry, covered up, stiff women they’ve been since the 1800’s.
At least they could’ve just changed her outfit and gave her a face.
I don’t hear these feminists attacking Twilight for having an above-average, full-figured teen male in the story (Jacob Black). I don’t hear the feminists come with the pitchforks against Shoujo anime with these “cardboard box”, super tall, crazy athletic males. Whenever a woman objectifies a male in a written story or movie production, I don’t hear a peep from the slut-shamers.
This extends beyond the realm of toys and cartoons, and even affects famous movie stars and music artists. While many artists want to be respected as artists regardless of what they wear or how sexual they are, many have found a way to balance both an appealing look with a powerful message (like Beyonce).
But the slut-shaming feminists have fired at artists like Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, Rihanna, Britney Spears, Salt N’ Pepa, you name it. If they aren’t covered up like old grannies, like Adele, they are a “bad influence”.
Ironically, these same feminists don’t go after male artists like Nick Jonas, Jason Derulo, and others who actually DO the objectifying and talk more about sex than any other artists.
I seldom find young women who get interested in sex because their favorite female artists are into it, and I’ve been working with kids and teens for five years now. Honestly, how many teens can say they did it because Nicki Minaj said it was okay? But when teen girls’ favorite MALE artists are into it, teen girls seem more influenced to explore sex and sexuality. Or better yet, when some guy at their high school tells them how special they are, they are more than likely to do it no matter who is on a movie or music video screen.
I doubt Nicki Minaj got girls more interested in sex than One Direction did or Justin Bieber or Nick Jonas. So, should we shut down all the “heartthrobs” that come onto the music scene just because they express their sexuality and turn teen girls on? Bet we won’t. We are so quick to attack a female, we hardly think to look at the male stars that influence young girls way more than female stars, who have actually done the opposite!
If you don’t want your kids to be exposed to certain things, fine. As a parent, you have that right, but I don’t agree with taking someone else’s right to expression is the solution to raising individual children. Censor what you expose your kids to in your own homes, and give the rest of us a choice to enjoy what we enjoy.
This is not to say that I feel women should always be about their bodies and their appearances. I’m not that into mine. I love androgynous fashion, but I hardly comb my hair and put effort into my appearance on a daily basis. I do feel that it’s best for me to be natural and I would like my kind to be seen as beautiful, too. But to me, it’s perfectly fine if other women feel that their expression and confidence comes from a different avenue than mine. I feel that is what makes us all amazing; our diversity is what make us great.
Therefore, I can’t hang with the slut-shaming feminists. They make me sick.
2. The Body-shamers
These types of feminists make me feel sicker than the first one I mentioned.
Feminists all around have been advocating the #loveyourself campaign. Feminists have been speaking out about the media and how it pressures women into thinking they have to fit a “mold” to be beautiful, to feel feminine, or to be looked at as a “real” woman. This goes hand-in-hand with the women’s “strike” against makeup and plastic surgery.
Even music artists like Alessia Cara have been singing out about the entertainment industry and how women have been trying to fit this ideal to feel worth.
Of course, the world-wide standard has always been “the skinnier, the better”, which has caused millions of girls to basically starve themselves or get plastic surgery in order to reach this ideal. So, feminists have mostly been encouraging women to enjoy having a little “weight”. And there is nothing wrong with that.
I’m on-board with this. My whole life I was sized up by people based on my physical appearance. In the African American community I grew up in, looks mattered a lot as regards to femininity and womanhood, so I understand this campaign as a whole.
However, I feel that some feminists have transferred the shame from those who are thicker to those who are thin, and that isn’t right either.
Again, feminists should support all women, thick or thin, and it isn’t right to go against a thin female just because she is thin. As a thin female myself, this always triggered me.
Growing up, being skinny hasn’t been a good experience for me. In the black community, being thicker is prized. A woman like Nicki Minaj is more than likely to be considered “sexy” than a woman with a tiny butt, tiny waist, and small breasts. Constantly, I was told I looked sick and that I was ugly. Constantly, I was told I could pass for a boy because I had no chest. Aside from the fact that I enjoyed baggy t-shirts and jeans, which probably made me look “ugly” to certain people, I never really cared about my weight that much either. I stayed as active as I always have been. Still, the comments hurt at times, especially when I was a teenager.
As a young woman, I once looked to the feminist movement for support. I wanted to love my body and the way I am, just like all the other ladies. But I often ran into feminists like “Ms. Body-Shame”.
I have spoken out on my blog about being skinny and how other people considered me unattractive. And what did I get as a comment? “Backhanded compliments are not attractive, dear.” Like my experience, my life, isn’t worth fighting for or worth acknowledging because I fit a perceived “standard”. This was the beginning of my disconnection with the modern woman and the feminists that shame bodies like mine.
Before Ariana Grande really blew up, I read the comments (from men and women) on Ariana Grande’s and Miley Cyrus’s videos about their bodies being skinny and ugly, about how they look like 10 year olds, and how only thick women can look sexy twerking. You can’t say nothing about Ariana any more, but back then, people did. While some “anti-porno” feminists may feel that is an insult to thicker women, because it may sound as if men are objectifying thicker women, it’s an insult to the skinny girls as well, the girls who aren’t truly considered sexy without some “Hollywood” magic. It especially influences young girls who are just entering that world of objectification. We are also being dumbed down to our bodies, like only our bodies make us valuable, and since we don’t have it, we’re not valuable in other ways. That’s the message these people are sending.
I work with children. I had a 13-year old child tell me that my physique was considered attractive in the 1920s, but is no longer what men are looking for. Don’t know why a child felt they had the authority to comment on my body. I think she was trying to be funny and get some laughs from her friends.
I was fine with the comment too, because I am not looking for a mate, neither do I let a child get under my skin in that way. They don’t know any better and are only repeating what they see and hear. Still, this just proves my point. Feminists need to understand that body-shaming takes a broader form in today’s society and it is affecting our youth. You can’t support one group of women but ignore other women, and then call yourself a feminist.
If most body-shaming feminists actually stopped and researched what men actually wanted from women, they would come to find that the ideal is NOT skinny or thick. Men want that “girl in the middle” with fat in “all the right places”. And the media ideal is dependent on the male’s opinion (if sex does indeed sell). Check these out:
Perceptions Of Perfection: What The ‘Ideal’ Female Body Looks Like Across 18 Countries
What the Ideal Woman’s Body Looks Like in 18 Countries
“Feminist” comedian Julie Klausner is one of the “feminists” that make me doubly sick. If I wasn’t skinny before, she’s gonna make me skinnier because reading her comments make me vomit. That’s how I know her acts towards “feminism” are not helping and she is definitely harmful to my very nature. Her biggest attack was on Disney Channel star Zendaya. She made some nasty comments, those same bullying comments that made me want to literally hurt somebody at one time, and then she gets called a “feminist”?
Comments like, “And thinspo model for your impressionable tweens”, “Zendaya’s ultimate retort to Giuliana Rancic is starving herself down to the size of one of her elbowz”, “You don’t have to have an eating disorder to attend the Kids’ Choice Awards….but it helps!”, did more than just irk me.
Ironically, where was her behind when Adele was winning Grammy’s? An unhealthy body weight can exist in both extremes, and if you don’t think a skinny girl can be a good “role model”, I don’t understand how staying silent about thicker musicians/actors and discouraging exercising does the job any better.
It’s as if she feels all skinny girls are skinny because they starved themselves…She doesn’t realize that some of us eat only three meals a day, have a fast metabolism, and EXERCISE.
If we’re trying to get women to be seen differently in an “image-conscious” world, shouldn’t the woman’s merits matter more than her appearance, thick or thin, to women? If “body-shaming” feminists are so concerned with a woman’s image, they aren’t any better than society as a whole. In fact, they are a part of the problem and will produce an opposite extreme.
Pharrell Williams is a skinny man. But nobody makes a peep about him when he wins awards. That just shows the double standards (which I will discuss more about later). These feminists make it more and more difficult for women to be seen as equal to men. You might as well not call them feminists.
Skinny-shaming is really common in the African American community. Having a bigger booty, bigger chest, etc are what makes you a prize, in both men and women’s eyes. Skinny women are often shamed in this community. This is why it makes no sense to act like one body type gets treated better than the other.
I also want to talk about Lynn Cloud and her petition to remove Eugenia Cooney from Youtube. Clearly, the body-shaming feminists have gotten to this young lady, too. I understand that Eugenia looks sick (she’s skinnier than normal), but I have seen several men on Youtube that look just as sick. So why are we so focused on Eugenia’s image? Because she’s a girl? This never happens with men because no one focuses on men’s appearances.
If you are sick, or have a sickness like Cancer or Sickle-cell Anemia, and you happen to be skinny, are you not allowed to make Youtube videos? Last I heard, anybody is allowed to post videos, no matter their appearance. She could be a spokesperson for all the other people who are sick and can’t gain weight. Is that a crime? We don’t know her personal circumstances or why she’s skinny. But who are we to silence her? Is she supposed to stay miserable her whole life and never try to adorn her body? She might have a disease that eats away at her flesh. So, she can’t post a video about herself? You people must think teen girls are so stupidly impressionable that they can’t obviously recognize that she’s sick. If anything, I’m sure her fans feel sorry for her.
Instead of trying to get this girl removed from Youtube, maybe she should be helped by people. The petition should say, “Petition to Help Eugenia Cooney”. Women should be trying to get to the root of her body weight issues and should try to get this girl some help. But banning her from Youtube will just result in her starving herself more and making her feel unwanted. The outcome could be even worse. It also limits this individual’s right to free speech. This petition will definitely create adverse effects.
And why hasn’t Ms. Cloud attacked the number of thick people on Youtube? They may not influence girls to starve themselves to look like them, but they do discourage girls who are already too big from getting active and eating healthy.
Both images are damaging, but these body-shaming feminists are obviously walking contradictions.
And what about the skinny girls who have to watch a curvy woman with big boobs get all the attention from the males in the comments’ section on Youtube or everywhere else on the internet?
Guess Who???
I don’t see a petition to ban these women. You don’t think curvy women are influencing these girls to get plastic surgery? No one gets plastic surgery on their breasts and butt to be skinny, do they? As a teenager, watching other teens with curves get all the attention made me want to stuff my face with all kinds of foods, get plastic surgery, and wear pads to make myself look thicker. I can imagine it has the same effect on other skinny girls. But if no one is out there to make them feel beautiful, if we have body-shaming feminists influencing the average feminist, who is supporting them?
And I’m not hating on a curvy, bodacious woman. That’s her body. The point is we should love all body types and stop the backbiting.
That’s why I don’t have time; there is no room in my life for the body-shaming feminists. Good thing I learned to love myself without the help of these feminists.
The video below I think really shows that just because you are super skinny, doesn’t mean you’re actually the ideal. I’m more like a “Yanii” in the video, but I’m ten times shorter. Most people think I’m a 12 year old, but I’m a grown adult woman! Let’s please stop the shaming if we’re going to call ourselves feminist.
3. Ms. Double Standards
If you thought the first two were bad, just wait until you hear about Ms. Double Standards.
There is nothing that irks me more than a woman who calls herself a feminist or benefits from feminism but places “masculine” standards on men. Nothing irks me more than a woman who believes she’s free to do whatever she wants but a man is not allowed those same freedoms. I don’t like when men have double standards either, but feminists with double standards irk me more because they put on the “face” of equality when really their own self-interests are a priority.
I could go so far as to call these women “misandrists”, but not all of them hate men. Some of them just want the perks of living and working in a “man’s” world while maintaining certain traditional boundaries. I’m here to tell you ladies, that’s almost impossible in this world.
There are several double standards that have come up and out of women’s mouths, from both feminists and those benefitting from feminism, that irk me:
His Role is Provider?
There are many women who consider a father without a job a “bum”. In my personal life, most women never consider a stay-at-home father as a hard-working man or the one “taking care of his family”. He is simply referred to as the “bum” by most women, including some so-called feminists.
Did it ever occur to some of these women that he may be the one cooking and cleaning for his family while his wife works? But oh no, that makes him a moocher. That means he’s not fulfilling his role as a “man”.
But who are women to decide what a man’s role is? You are not a man! And women would be up in arms if a man decided her role in life!
Why do these feminists believe that a man should be the one to work, but they have the option to work and/or stay-at-home? If a man is a bum for being a stay-at-home dad, guess what that makes a stay-at-home mom? A BUM. And don’t come and tell me that all stay-at-home moms always have a 24 hour job cooking and cleaning. Some of these “homemakers” are reading a book and watching daytime television all day…And dinner is from a fast-food restaurant.
I can’t stand a woman who gets upset when someone attacks her contribution to society, but has all of these expectations of men. If you’re going to question a man’s role in life, you’d best be contributing something too, instead of waiting on someone else to take care of you. Especially if you call yourself a feminist, the one who is supposed to be fighting for the same “social rights” as men.
And don’t come to me with the “men are supposed to take the lead” crap. If you’re the boss of your own company, ladies, you aren’t letting the man take the lead, now are you? If you are running for president, ladies, you aren’t letting the man take the lead, are you? If you are the superintendent of your schools, manager of your store, General in your army, you aren’t letting the man take the lead, are you? If women feel they can do all that, without a man’s leadership, women shouldn’t be whining and complaining about who takes the lead in their own households.
How about this…You and your spouse both be the adults and WORK TOGETHER. There’s no sense in preaching that women should have equal rights if you aren’t a practicer of what you preach.
Who Proposes to Who?
I can’t stand a woman who calls herself a feminist, but waits around for a man to make the first move in her relationship.
Readers, I listen to a lot of early morning radio shows before I go to work. Most of the people calling in are women. One particular woman called herself a strong, empowering feminist who intimidated men. She claimed her biggest dilemma was getting her boyfriend, who she had been dating for 10 years, to marry her. She believed he felt intimidated by her because she made a lot of money and had a leadership position in life.
And all of the radio djs were just like, “Ugh, what’s taking him so long? Tell him how you feel and get him to propose!” No, woman. You propose! Maybe he’s not proposing because you can’t make up your mind as to whether you’re a strong, empowering woman or a wannabe timid mouse.
Yes, I believe that if YOU, the female, are the one who is ready to get married, YOU, the female, should be the one doing the proposing, especially because you make enough money to do so. You’re a grown woman, right? You call yourself a feminist, right? Well, if you want the same equal rights, to speak your mind, to choose your own partners, speak up! YOU go out and buy a ring. You plan the date and pay for the dinner. Why have we settled with the submissive role when it comes to relationships, when we women feel we can march on Washington for equal rights, become the bosses of our own companies, and fight hard to be president of the USA? But you’re not “equal” enough to actually do the proposing? Why not? That would be the perfect way to get the answer out of him; you’d finally figure out whether he’s ready or not, instead of twiddling your thumbs while you wait for him to make a move. Passive-aggressively whining and complaining isn’t going to get the results you want. It never works.
Some of these women cry “equal rights” when it benefits them. But when they actually have to take on a “leadership role”, they suddenly succumb to the submissive role. I’ll talk more about this later.
I also have heard on the radio about some so-called feminists who have asked a man out to dinner, but then expected him to pay the bill. That tradition has phased out. It worked back in the past, when women didn’t ask men out and didn’t really have decent jobs. In this modern world, women are making a pretty penny. In this modern world, women are taking more of the initiative. And if YOU are the one asking him out, don’t choose the most expensive place and expect HIM to pay. YOU asked HIM! You should be trying to impress him in that instance. He didn’t even have to say “yes” to you. That’s like asking your parents out to dinner, but then leaving them to pay the bill. That’s like asking your colleagues out to dinner, but then leaving them to pay the bill. It’s shady.
A woman who is like that is showing she is self-entitled. And when the feminist title is placed behind her, it just makes her seem more about “herself”.
A Boy’s Not Allowed to Like…
It sickens me how some women, who claim to be feminists, attack a man for liking something directed to “girls”. I ran into such a feminist on Youtube. She attacked a teen male for liking My Little Pony the tv series.
And yet, she praised a teen woman for being interested in Spiderman, Power Rangers, Clarence, and Naruto… So, again, why is it okay for a woman to like Power Rangers, but not for a man to like My Little Pony? In this “patriarchal” world, it’s alright for a woman to be interested in male-directed tv shows/cartoons/anime, but men are not allowed to enjoy or respect female-directed tv shows/cartoons/anime? He will be called a pedo, but she…is empowering? He has “Peter Pan syndrome” and is a “loser”, but she’s…empowering?…. He’s gay, but she’s…empowering?
It sickens me when women, who claim to be feminists or benefit from feminism, allow their daughters to buy video games, trucks, and footballs, but won’t buy their sons a doll…
I Like My Men Masculine/I Believe A Man Should Be a Man (or Masculine)
As I said before, I listen to public radio early in the morning before work, and I hear a lot of crap from these wannabe feminists. There is one popular segment of most radio shows that allows someone to try to reach another person after a date that supposedly went “well”, but fell off. The radio dj will try to reach out to the partner that went “silent” and try to reunite the two, hopefully paying for a second date.
What normally happens is that we, the djs and the listeners, discover that the date was awful from the other person’s perspective.
Keeping that in mind, one guy was trying to reach a woman he’d been on a date with. He said he had a blast with her. When the djs reach her, she says she cut him off because his side job was “embarrassing”. His side job was to be an elf for Christmas and hand out presents to little children. I thought this was the sweetest thing.
But so many women called in, women who said they were lawyers, mechanics, CEOs, saying they would be embarrassed by him and said it just wasn’t a “masculine” job. Fine, you are welcome to expect all of this masculinity from him, because women should have the right to their standards, right? But don’t get angry when a man becomes “intimidated” by you and doesn’t want to marry you because you’re in a “not-so-feminine” role.
What made this segment so sickening was that the female radio dj host was the MAIN ONE saying his job wasn’t masculine enough. Honey, you’re in a male-dominated field! And this dj has preached, and preached, and preached about how she is the only one in her field and how males don’t respect her in the industry. She is often the main one saying that a woman can be a radio dj and still be feminine. She is often THE MAIN ONE saying that a man can’t define her femininity. But suddenly, he’s not man enough because he defies the gender stereotype?
So I ask you, ladies, who are you to define a man’s masculinity? Who are you to judge a man who is trying to spread happiness and cheer during the holidays? Women preach that they want a nice, sensitive man who cares about the family and children. But then reject that man. I can’t stand it.
I can’t stand when a woman goes around saying, “I believe a man should be a man”, but she works a 9-to-5 job, is speaking her mind on the internet or radio, and votes. Don’t these ignorant women realize that at one time, these things were considered masculine? If you aren’t willing to fit your feminine role in society, why can’t we start to see masculinity and manhood differently? It’s as if these women want the best of both worlds, and see men as a threat in BOTH roles. It’s only fair to let men define their own masculinity just as you expect to define yours.
And if you’re going to have these double standards, don’t go around calling yourself a “strong empowering” feminist. Really, you’re not one.
Want to Read a Really Ridiculous article written by a “wannabe” feminist? 10 Things Women (Still) Expect Men to Know How to Do
I can’t wait to see how triggered she’ll be when the “female” equivalent of this article comes out…
Men Shouldn’t Care About A Woman’s Appearance or Occupation
This is the subject feminists preach high and low. I understand why feminists believe we should be beyond appearances, especially when it comes to the workforce. Not everyone was born beautiful, but good people can always do good things. I do believe people should let their merits shine.
Still, in relationships, people have the right to decide what they like, both man and woman.
Feminists are not so lenient when it comes to men in this regard. As soon as a man expresses his desire for a bombshell woman who is a stay-at-home mom, these feminists are on the prowl. I can understand…unless this feminist gives the pass to a woman who expects a bombshell man with a well-paying job.
So often, I’ve heard women complaining about the kind of “job” their boyfriends/spouses have, or what their man wears or what they don’t like men wearing (the man bun, socks with sandals, etc). And that’s fine if you have standards. But he’s entitled to standards as well. If you don’t want him judging the way you look or your occupation, why are you doing it?
This is made worse when it’s coming out of the mouth of a so-called feminist or a “perceived” feminist.
These feminists get angry when men are talking about how hot a female celebrity is, but have no qualms with talking about how hot a male celebrity is. Really?
This is especially common in the Kpop industry. There are many articles about the objectification of women in the industry, which is noticeably true, but the industry’s fans are dominated by females…making the male idols ten times more popular. And it’s not because these guys are the most talented guys in the world. It’s mostly because they look good. Thus, the male “idols” are ten times more objectified than their female counterparts. They are literally just pretty “ideals” to most of these teen girls and young women (2030 crowd). It’s gotten to the point the Kpop male stars wear makeup and get plastic surgery just to appeal to these fans!
And yet, all anyone wants to talk about are the females wearing makeup and getting plastic surgery…
If we’re going to stop objectification, we need to stop it everywhere. But if you still want some hot guys to look at in the entertainment industry, why not let men have the same pleasure?
Men Can’t Hit a Girl, But a Woman Can hit a boy
I’ve run across many feminists who abhor physical abuse, and I don’t blame them.
However, it’s oddly silent when women are doing the abusing. Most feminists assume that women have good “reasons” for being physically aggressive to their spouses/boyfriends.
In my honest opinion, physical aggression and violence are physical aggression and violence, and it’s never right.
Consider the Chris Brown and Rihanna issue. We don’t know who started that fight, but we know Rihanna was left with bruises and had to be hospitalized. Chris Brown went down for that, and rightfully so.
Solange attacks Jay-Z in an elevator, got caught on camera, with Jay-Z not hitting back, but she gets cheers from feminists…not criticism.
Anna from Frozen punched Hans in the face, when he never touched her once throughout the film, and yet this movie is for feminists? Let’s reverse those roles and see how fast the feminists come marching in front of the cinemas…
So many times while I’m working with my children, the girls will hit, push, and shove the boys, and get away with it, causing the young men to get angry and cry about the injustice. And remember, when boys and girls are children and adolescents, the girls are usually taller and stronger than the boys. Why do we condone physical abuse from women, but pull out the pitchforks exclusively for men?
We need to stop physical aggression across the board. It’s never right.
4. Category Girl
Next, I want to talk about Category Girls.
A Category Girl is someone who wants to decide who is a “real” feminist. They think it’s their responsibility to let others know where they stand in this movement. These ladies are more concerned about who belongs in the space than they are about the actual issues that need to be tackled in society.
Oh, trust me. They hunt around with their radar, scanning every detail of each woman, just to oust someone out of a space they look at more as a “clique” and less as a movement.
These feminists can range on any level. Regardless, they all have this “criteria” for who gets to represent the movement and who doesn’t, and the criteria has little to do with whether someone supports the actual cause.
One type is the kind of feminist that believes a “real” feminist is a woman who honors femininity and doesn’t “act like a boy”. She never truly knows how to define what she means by “boy”, she just knows a girl shouldn’t act like one. Yes, I know, surprising, right? There are self-proclaimed “feminists” out in the world who use these kinds of derogatory statements, statements often used by male chauvinists.
But she calls herself a feminist…
This is the feminist that took on the title because it gives her status in the female community. She never really researched the term, it just makes her look good to call herself that.
I ran into such a feminist once. We were on the subject of Frozen Versus Mulan. I spoke about how Mulan was just as empowering as Anna and Elsa, how Mulan saved all of China basically by herself, how she saved her own love interest, how her dreams consisted of bringing her family honor, and how she took initiative in her relationship. Basically, I didn’t understand why Elsa received so much praise for being empowering in comparison to Mulan. And you know what she said? “Well, at least they didn’t have to dress like a man to prove how strong they were.”
Dress like a man? I asked her, “What do you define as dressing like a man? Last time I watched, Mulan was wearing armor and her hair up in a bun. Who said that a woman can’t dress like that and still be considered ‘dressing like a woman’?” No reply. Maybe she felt I was trying to strawman her, but the statement still stands. Clearly, she felt that to be a truly empowering, strong, “feminist”, you had to look like a “woman” (i.e. wear a dress) and represent everything girly.
This poster had several supporters, those who felt that womanhood should be honored and that women should stop trying to be more and more like men, and should try convincing men to be more like “women”. And I’m assuming their definition of woman was “wearing skirts and dresses and dreaming of romance”.
I understand their point, but again, how do we define this “womanhood”? Because my “female” experience never consists of dresses, hardly consists of makeup, and is hardly domestic. I truly enjoy being able to speak my mind on the internet, hold leadership positions, and I enjoy being single, without woman, man, or children in my life.
And if these women wanted to step away from being more and more like men, maybe we should revert this society and take it all the way back to the 19th century. Perhaps these women should leave the internet and stop speaking their minds. That was once a male role. Maybe they should quit their well-paying jobs and stay at home, waiting for their fathers or a good (or bad) husband to take care of them. Maybe these women should stop wearing pants, shorts, t-shirts, and sneakers…
Oh, but they won’t. Somehow, now these things have become a part of being feminine.
If feminine qualities have evolved and changed over the last century, there is no way femininity is that limited.
Feminism is advocating that women receive the same “social and political rights” as men. I’m sorry, but these women are doing the opposite by claiming that a “woman” can’t wear armor without being labeled as “looking like a man”.
On the opposite extreme, there are actually far more feminists against the traditional “feminine” values. I don’t think it’s any more progressive to be Ms. Masculine and assume that a woman that upholds traditional feminine values can’t equally want other social and political rights equal to men. These women tend to just want a balance for everybody, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There are things she likes about the patriarchy and things she doesn’t.
Some of these feminists will condemn women who choose to enjoy makeup and dresses.
If feminism is supposed to allow women to have more choices in the world, why are we trying to limit any woman’s self-expression or how she chooses to live her life? And if we want a woman to wear armor and still be labeled as “looking like a woman”, we equally shouldn’t even consider “dresses” as less “empowering”. We really shouldn’t even look at dresses as a “woman” thing at all. There are plenty of men who also wear dresses and, depending on culture, look at similar robes as a masculine thing. Some men prefer dresses for comfort or style.
We should just look at these forms of attire as clothing styles, tastes, forms of comfort, parts of cultures, and interests. The sooner we start accepting that clothing varies by culture, comfort, and taste, the sooner we realize that clothing doesn’t define gender or sex or sexuality, the sooner we all can move along happier in our lives.
Category Girls of this extreme might not stop at just labeling “feminists” according to clothing. She might decide that being a “feminist” depends on her career choices or her views on childbirth.
If a woman wants to be a secretary, model, or even a, gasp, HOUSEWIFE, she will be marked as anti-feminist. This type of Category Girl will NOT allow this type of woman to call themselves a feminist. Last I checked though, the feminist movement supports women’s RIGHTS, which means their right to have a choice. So why do the Category Girls feel they get to require women to behave and act as they feel they should in order to be embraced by feminism? The movement is helping women gain rights, whether they take advantage of all, most, or none of those rights. Men equally should have the right to choose to live their lives the way that makes them happiest.
The Category Girl also has a thing against Transwomen. Most of them are TERFS. They might be respectful towards Transwomen in public, remembering their pronouns, but they refuse to believe that Transwomen belong anywhere near the feminist movement. They might think that Transwomen are too different from cis women to understand the issues cis feminists are fighting for.
First off, you don’t have to be a cis woman, transwoman, or any other kind of woman to even BE a feminist. You can be a man and be a feminist. That just shows how ignorant these women are when it comes to a movement they supposedly support.
Second, why wouldn’t we want as many people supporting the movement as possible? The Category Girl would rather treat the movement like an exclusive club than an effort for reform. Guess what? It’s not one of your exclusive clubs. This ain’t the Unicorn Club. Real people need this kind of movement and benefit from it. If we get as many people on board with fighting for these rights globally, women around the world might just get what they want and need. But if we have feminists who keep treating the movement like a game of Solitaire, we ain’t gonna get anywhere honeys.
Third, no woman is the same. Every experience, even within the feminist movement, is different. What black women experience is going to be a little different than white women, right? But we all have one thing in common: We all want the social and political rights in society to be equal. And of all people, transwomen do understand how unequal society is. As one of my favorite Transwomen, Ravenovah, says all the time, they’re women of “two spirits”. Because of this, they know exactly how unfair society can be, how socializing can affect people, how our politics do not support fairness for all at this time in our history (or rather how it’s not enforced). Of all people, Transwomen fight the hardest for equal rights. Why shouldn’t they be represented in the feminist movement?
The worst kinds of Category Girls want to force Transwomen to abide by their “gender norms”. They don’t even honor Transwomen’s or Transmen’s pronouns. I’ve heard Hystersisters had this problem with trying to force a Transman to sign up as female or woman in order to talk about their hysterectomy experiences. Basically, deny their identities to align with what Hystersisters feels fits their gender. I’m sure these are not the types of women to respect pronouns. Hystersisters may not be a feminist website in totality, but they certainly benefit from feminism.
If the Category Girls put just as much effort into actually fighting against policies and social ideas that limit women instead of fighting people who are trying to support the movement, we’d all be one step ahead in the world.
5. The User and Abuser
The title refers to women who use the feminist title just for gain, perks, to get back at people, or to get out of sticky situations, but have no real interest in issues that affect women. Thus, she ends up abusing the title of “feminist”. This title could also refer to a woman who uses feminism as a title when convenient, but drops it when she has to do physical or laborious work, work actually considered “for men”.
These are the women that also cry “feminist” when they are rightfully criticized by others and don’t feel they should receive any.
She’s different from Ms. Double Standards in the fact that she may not actually have double standards. However, she recognizes that feminism gives her a certain power that it doesn’t give men, and she’s willing to fall back on it when she makes a “mistake”. She also knows when to play the “feminism” card and when to play the “traditional” card, making her a walking contradiction.
If you’re not following me, let me start giving examples. I knew of one young lady in college who liked the attention and company of many men. She slept around with most of the guys on her campus. In high school, her parents allowed her to get plastic surgery on her chest and butt. She definitely took advantage of the male attention.
Of course, she ended up pregnant. The moment she ended up pregnant, she claimed the man who impregnated her actually “raped” her and she filed a claim to get him kicked out of college. When the school refused to do this, she gathered some feminists from her school, rallied against the board, claiming they ignored serious issues that affect women.
Now, sure, she may have been raped. We don’t know what happened behind closed doors. But there was no real way of knowing whether she was lying or telling the truth, either. There was no physical evidence that she was raped. And the feminists that supported her only supported her because she was a woman who used the magic words.
The real problem is the fact that the young woman may have felt she had to lie. Our society has made it so a woman feels like a slut when she makes a “consensual” choice to have sex with many partners or when she gets pregnant out of wedlock. It is easier to catch a woman with children out of wedlock than a man (women get pregnant), so she often gets called the “stupid” one. And the physical consequences are more severe for a woman than a man (though a man may experience social/financial consequences), so women often try to find any support they can.
But lying and tearing someone down because of a mistake you made? That’s not only irresponsible, that is anti-feminist. It makes women seem like manipulative and fickle creatures who aren’t capable of making their own responsible decisions. It should not be supported by other feminists. I think more investigations should go into these “rape” outcries.
This became the subject of major scrutiny during the Emmett Till case. In this case, a white woman cried “rape” on a black man so that her husband wouldn’t know about her scandalous affairs. She used a black boy as her scapegoat, and it ended up costing his life. An innocent boy’s life. Add on racism, and this is the damage this kind of woman can do.
Anyway…
There are other incidents of the “users and abusers” I’ve encountered when working with children. Yes, it starts as early as five years old. I think I’ve mentioned how girls will often hit and shove the boys without consequence, right? Well, often times, I run across girls who are vicious bullies, but as soon as their parents are called, they turn on the tears and blame the male for “provoking them”. The manipulation works, with the male often being blamed as the bully, even when facts prove otherwise. I don’t blame the girls. They are just children. However, I blame society for enabling this manipulation, the feminists who support this destructive behavior or choose to ignore it, and the parents who just don’t have a clue.
Another example of this kind of feminist is one who has failed at a sport, job, debate, or anything else, provided that the “rules” were just and fair, but complains that she was discriminated against because she “is a woman”. Feminism does promote women receiving the same equal opportunities as men to go for the same jobs, play the same sports, and enter the same mental competitions. However, there is a difference between opportunity and success. Sometimes, some women just can’t do the job. Sometimes, a woman may lose a debate or a chess match. It’s not always the system setting up the women to fail (though it can happen and has happened at times). Many times, some women just can’t do the job as well as another person, and that is okay. We can’t blame the system when it is convenient and march our way into all the colleges we don’t get accepted to or into all the sports teams we’ve been rejected from. Sometimes, we have to be objective and analyze whether we were denied based on gender/sex or based on our actual skills (or lack thereof).
There is another type under this User and Abuser label. She’s the woman who is always strong, powerful, and in control until she really has to do a “man’s” job. What do I mean by that? I mean the one that has to serve in the military.
Luckily, in the USA, many women don’t have to experience being drafted into military service. But in many other countries, the draft is a very real part of life. Often times, women are exempt from military service because they are deemed too “weak” to do the rigorous training the men do.
Most feminists have been offended by this, but I recently ran across a self-proclaimed feminist who said she did feel women were “too weak” to be drafted in the military. In one conversation, she mentioned how women should be allowed in male-dominated fields, how women were strong, and how they were capable of having children and then going back to work. But when the topic of military service came up, she mentioned how her “menstrual” would hold her back and how she wouldn’t be able to take having to exert herself physically because of cramps.
Well, no one said military service was easy. Even men struggle through it. But there are many ways women could serve in the military, offering their intellect, their agility, hands or anything else. I presented this idea to the “feminist”, and her response was “That’s just not for women”. This was coming from a woman who claimed women were “strong” and capable of handling male-dominated fields. But as soon as the idea of mandatory military service came up, she was suddenly the docile mouse. This showed me that she was ready to use feminism when she wanted to use it, but not ready to assume the responsibilities that came with feminism. If we advocate that women be treated equally to men, we should expect the same things of women that we do men. They should have the same responsibilities. They should take responsibility for what they’re advocating.
Apparently, some women just aren’t ready for true feminism-the kind that doesn’t make their life more cushy, that is.
These kinds of feminists confuse the heck out of everybody, which sets the feminist movement back. What do you want? Do you want equal rights or not?
All of these gray/grey areas leave room for anti-feminists to poke holes.
Did I mention that some of these women get paid just from saying they’re feminists? It’s more of a business for them, nothing personal.
6. Feminazi
Yes, I used it. I used one of the worst insults to describe a feminist. I don’t always like to throw this word around, but if you’re acting like one, you are. Many people throw this word around unjustly, but there are a group of “feminists” that this word applies to.
Before I lay it thick on them, I do want to admit that I respect the feminazis more than all of the above feminists. No great movement gets noticed without radicals, right? A radical movement can be an effective movement. For starters, at least most of them know what they stand for and aren’t full of the major contradictions other feminists are known for (unless they also fall into the other above categories). These women have gone beyond just fighting for equal rights; they are ready to destroy any “male-dominated” society. These are the women that are strictly focusing on the “patriarchy” and nothing else.
While I applaud them for getting down to the gritty business, sometimes these women seem to be trying to create their own little strict feminist regime. They are “puritanical” in a way, insisting that everything caters to women, the female sex, and her issues and needs, whether it be in a movie, music video, song, or book (like Nazi Germany). In fact, she may insist that there not be a male present AT ALL when the story is directed to a female audience. Romance is misogynistic to most of these women. Some of them may believe the only real feminists are lesbians, women who would never marry or engage with a man. Pan-sexuals and bi-sexuals don’t count.
This is the woman that gets angry if she goes into a movie and sees one or less lead female characters. This is the woman that can analyze and find all the misogynistic undertones of everything, intentional or not. She can see the misogyny of video game characters wearing pink, the misogyny of a female character crying, the misogyny of women talking about their relationships, the misogyny of reality show fights… I have to admit she does her homework.
Despite her “intelligence”, she can be very annoying. I can’t understand how these women can enjoy anything when they are constantly worrying about how men are perceiving them or representing them all the time. If these feminists were really so tired of the misogynistic undertones, wouldn’t they have made their own little collection of cult films, books, and music exclusively for women, by women, with female leads by now? That would work better than trying to boycott or protest every little bit of entertainment because of some “misogynistic undertones” they’ve discovered. And it’s easy for them to find, too. They can read misogyny in the different ways we perceive the color of the sky. That’s how obsessed they are.
These women are also very particular about who should benefit from the movement and who should be supporting the movement. Oh yeah, some of them want to control who supports the movement. I’m sure most of us are aware that men can be feminists, right? Not the feminazi.
The feminazi is so against the patriarchy and the genitals associated with that system, that even Transwomen are not welcome in their spaces. These types of women will not even support a woman who is transitioning into womanhood…which is pretty messed up.
These are the women that aren’t just looking at feminism as a movement for equal rights. They include all the issues women face in the world, no matter how crazy or petty.
You will certainly find some man-haters among them somewhere, too. They aren’t too friendly with men. In relationships, they are very particular about the men they like, if they like men at all. But these women are often so sensitive, even lesbian women have a hard time dealing with them (since they like to point out how we are all so conditioned by the patriarchy every 5 minutes), and they might include tomboyish lesbians to that list.
All cynicism and sarcasm aside, I understand their need to bring “light” on issues that truly affect women. I appreciate the points they bring out regarding the social restrictions, expectations, and labels that have been placed on women. However, the feminazis need to step back and look at the forest sometimes. They are too caught up in these ridiculous, petty, and really unimportant details. After reading their propaganda, it’s hard to enjoy anything anymore.
Most of the feminazis are so caught up in getting rid of the “patriarchy”, which is riddled with some things that limit women and which do encourage women to be more “like men”, they forget that there are also good things that have come out of the patriarchy that we can and have benefitted from. GASP. I don’t think the feminazis can handle that sentence. But it’s true. We all enjoy male inventions, like Apple, internet, cars, and much more. Sure, they were created in eras where women were limited, and yes the efforts of women to bring those inventions out there have been ignored, but there are still intelligent men behind those inventions, too. If you don’t want a patriarchal society, move out to a remotely isolated place and create your own town full of women. That’s what a few Kenyan women did. See? Women of action, not talk.
And there are privileges, especially in western societies, that women have enjoyed as a result of this “oppression”. Women have never had to be drafted, they’ve been able to mostly stay at home instead of slaving in the outside world, and men have always been expected to show chivalry towards women (even if some didn’t) by opening doors, pulling out chairs, and giving jackets to women when they’re cold.
Some of the women from the good ole’ days would hardly agree that they were actually oppressed, even if they were barred from doing everything they wanted. It wasn’t always an oppression that all women felt if they lived more comfortable lives. Many agreed with their set “roles”. Of course, some women didn’t, especially women whose husbands died, were mentally ill, or didn’t make enough money. Women have always been individual. Still, with that being said, many women don’t want to give up all of their comforts, and why should they if it doesn’t benefit them?
The gender standards have affected men in some ways, too. Look at how it impacts gay men or feminine men? We have had very defined separate roles in society, and much of the “rules” were written by both men and women. These “roles” were always decided by the lifestyle lived by both the men and women. If a woman lived an agricultural life, she wasn’t expected to work in the home. If a woman lived in an urban area, she was expected to do housework. And some women took pride in being homemakers.
There may have been more boundaries, but that was for both men and women.
As long as men exist, patriarchal thinking will exist, and as long as women exist, matriarchal thinking will exist. Each gender thinks about their own self-interests, first and foremost. We can’t get rid of one to uphold another. The only way to live peacefully with one another is to work out our ideas together, to remove the ideas from both systems that just don’t work or don’t lead to a comfortable life, and keep the things that enhance the quality of all of our lives. As an African American, even though White Supremacy exists, it’s not realistic to try to remove white people from positions of power. It’s best to rise in that system and then implement our ideas, causing a blend. I feel the same way about Male Supremacy.
While most women want to be seen as strong and independent heroes, we are also very individual and don’t mind seeing romance here and there. There is nothing wrong with marriage or relationships. It’s how we continue our human race. There’s also nothing wrong with a man saving a woman, as long as we know that the feeling is mutual. Women can’t always do the saving. That’s just not realistic. While we do want to focus on shedding stereotypes, it’s not always bad to enjoy or even fall into some of them every once in a while.
There are women out here who really do need to fight their patriarchal systems. They are in countries that truly oppress women. We should observe how their patriarchy is destroying them, especially if there is nothing good coming out of it. But some of us are actually living in a society where it’s really not fair for either side, men or women.
The feminazis have to ease up a little. That’s all I’m saying.
The following videos are not by a feminist, however, I think she makes some interesting points:
Food for thought…
7. Transfeminist Dictators
We’re going to be equal and fair here. Every cringey feminist gets a turn.
For those who are unaware, Trans people are people who are labeled a certain sex at birth, but identify mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as the opposite gender from that label. They also may have other underlying female sex characteristics that aren’t obvious to the naked eye. There are many transmen and transwomen who also identify as feminists, and oftentimes stand with other kinds of men and women against all sorts of inequalities. Transwomen, of all women, understand the boundaries society has placed on the genders and the political rules in place, as well as the lack of political protection.
Despite this, however, there are some transfeminists who can really set the movement back. There are women like this in every group, and there are some in the Trans community, too.
I do understand the road to transitioning can be a difficult one, and many trans women are looking for a supportive community when on the journey. Many find that support within the feminist community. Obviously, they should be welcomed with open arms. However, I do have a problem with some trans people trying to “censor” certain topics once they embrace feminism, and I do have a problem with a few trans people dictating the way other women in the movement address issues that affect them personally.
I can’t one-hundred-percent understand being trans or having Gender Dysphoria or DID. All the research in the world can’t make me understand what they feel and experience in totality. However, I understand the feeling of being excluded. I do understand that trans women want to feel included in the movement, and certainly there are certain aspects of the movement that apply to trans women, too. However, not everything in the movement has to apply to trans women, just like not everything in the movement applies to all the other different types of women, and cis women should not be forced to censor themselves when talking about issues that affect their everyday life.
Unfortunately, many of the injustices and disadvantages cis women experience are based on their biology and not just because of their social-gender identity. Most Transwomen feminists do respect this, but there are some, like the Dictator, that don’t.
Examples of topics that transfeminist dictators have tried to censor include: pregnancy, abortion, menstruation, breast cancer, vaginal disrespect, and/or Uterine diseases or conditions, along with other issues that refer to cis women’s anatomy and biology. Many trans women are sensitive about these topics because most of these topics do not include them and their own biological make up. As a result, some trans women have even said that women should not talk about these issues at all in order to avoid “excluding” trans women.
I don’t think that’s fair. Unfortunately, whether any of us like it or not, we live in a society where a cis woman’s genitals are the root of many of her misfortunes. That’s the ugly truth. Though the genitals are not gendered in any way, society has always “gendered” them, which has partially been the reason for women’s setbacks.
While it might seem like a treasure to many Transwomen, for many cis women, there are both physical, mental, societal, and political issues surrounding the cis woman’s anatomy.
Historical “science” used to distort all kinds of “facts” about women based on the “uterine” genitals. They used to say that women didn’t have a sex drive because the “menstrual period” takes away their desires. In many cultures, women were considered unclean because they were only known to “bleed every month”. In many cultures, rape is acceptable because of the uterine genitals. Therefore, it is not right to repress their voices just because it makes others feel uncomfortable. Honestly, the topic of women’s rights in general can make people feel uncomfortable. Still, the movement wasn’t created to bring comfort. Sometimes, we have to talk about sensitive topics in order to find solutions that help people.
There are issues trans women go through that other women do not experience, and that is okay. Would it be right for other women to try to censor a trans woman’s voice because other women do not experience the same things? No, it would not, because those issues are serious and need to be resolved for the mental, emotional, social, and physical health of society. It is the same thing when it comes down to women with vaginas.
These kinds of trans feminists also try to “censor” other feminist causes, too. They even try to censor the feminists’ use of words. They insist that feminists not refer to their own anatomy. They want to tell other women to stop calling their private areas by scientific terms or not to even refer to their own genitals.
Trans feminist dictators cannot tell other women how and in what manner they should identify their anatomy. There are plenty of topics in the movement that include trans women. But when a homeless woman needs access to menstrual pads, and wants to speak up about how there are no services for women with these needs, it’s no one’s place to tell her she is wrong to talk about it. When a woman wants to talk about continuing or discontinuing medical services that affect her fertility, it’s no one’s place to tell her she’s wrong to talk about it. If a woman is experiencing complications from pregnancy or after childbirth and needs to speak out about it FOR HER HEALTH, no one should tell her she’s wrong. These are life-and-death situations, and unfortunately, sometimes women do need to speak a little louder on these issues, even if it makes everybody uncomfortable.
I can understand that being surrounded by these discussions can be super depressing. I can understand that. Even for cis women who can’t experience childbirth or pregnancy, they often feel depressed when around women who can. I’ve had friends and family members who have had all of their internal genital organs removed, and can no longer have children. I’ve spoken with young women who never had a period and can never have children. It’s not easy when you can’t experience what other women are experiencing. And no one should be flaunting the fact that they can experience things others can’t.
Still, flaunting is different from speaking out about an issue. “Flaunting” is the act of displaying something to gain admiration or envy. Speaking about an issue is coming from a totally different place than that. You don’t WANT admiration if you have an issue with it. You want respect and you want to be able to live healthy and happy in your skin. If a young teenager doesn’t have access to menstrual pads, and they’re speaking out about it or trying to raise funds for it, they’re not “flaunting” their menstruation in your face. They aren’t trying to get your admiration because they can’t afford menstrual items. They are trying to gain support, sympathy, empathy, and understanding. Trans feminist dictators may not understand that difference.
If you call yourself a feminist, it’s only fair to make room for cis women to talk about certain issues that affect them just like there should be room for Transwomen to speak on issues that affect them. Transwomen have a community to speak about these issues. Cis women will need a community with their issues sometimes too, unfortunately.
Of course, not all trans feminists are like this, mind you. I have run into some very supportive trans feminists, women who talk about their own issues as well as the issues others face. Those women are helping us all move forward.
8. “Color-Blind” Feminists
When I say “Color-Blind feminists”, I’m not talking about women who see all women of all colors equally. No. I’m talking about feminists who only acknowledge the contributions of white women when it comes to moving and shaping the feminist movement. I’m talking about the feminists who will fight the great female fight…but skate around issues that affect women of color. I’m talking about the feminists who don’t even believe Black women have it tough. I’m talking about the feminists who are actually racist and believe their ways of doing things are superior.
I’m talking about the feminists who don’t recognize that some of their standards, morals, ethics, and ideologies are developed from their own culture, and that their culture isn’t always RIGHT.
I’m talking about the feminists who forget about us.
I haven’t run into too many of these types in my lifetime (THANK GOODNESS), but I’ve seen them talking crap online.
Two examples of who I’m talking about: Elizabeth Banks and Anne Thompson. Elizabeth Banks thought she was doing something when she thought she was calling out Steven Spielberg for not directing any films with female leads…
And while it would be nice to see more female leads, apparently she forgot about The Color Purple. Her absent-mindedness wouldn’t have bothered me if she hadn’t said right afterwards:
“Buy a f***ing ticket to a movie with a woman, take [your sons], give them the experience of seeing amazing women on film,” Banks encouraged of mothers.
Ironically, though, it’s clear she hasn’t taken her own advice, and hasn’t actually supported empowering movies with women of COLOR in the lead roles. She needs to be buying more tickets if she expects others to do the same…and she shouldn’t be picky about the color of that woman.
And this is quite common. Many women who claim to be feminists haven’t seen many movies with African American women taking the lead THEMSELVES. They haven’t put money behind projects BLACK WOMEN are promoting. So why should anyone care about their causes? It’s ironic that these white women are just now stepping forward considering Black women have been winning awards and starring at the front of film since the 1980s. But you still don’t recognize them?
What’s worse is her little friend, Anne Thompson, a film columnist, followed that tweet up by stating that The Color Purple was “one of Spielberg’s earliest flops”. Never mind that maybe it was overlooked because it was ahead of its time and controversial in story-telling, showcasing an open lesbian relationship and the struggles with trying to feel worth as a woman amid a male-dominated world. Never mind that maybe it didn’t get the same promotion as other movies because it was driven by SEVERAL strong Black female lead characters of all BODY TYPES and was not pandering to male eyes or European standards of beauty and decency. Never mind that. It’s just a “flop”, so it doesn’t matter, right Ms. Thompson?
And I suppose that should apply to all the overwhelming number of movies driven by “white women” that flopped too, huh? They’re flops, so they’re insignificant?
I find it ironic how these “feminists” or women who benefit from feminism can be trying to push people to see movies about women when they themselves won’t acknowledge movies driven by women. So if it’s a woman of color leading, it’s different?
This type of feminist can also be so disconnected from people who are not White, they don’t understand how their own upbringing shapes their own prejudices.
Giuliana Rancic, an Italian-American woman who obviously benefits from feminism, thought it would be “funny” to say that actor Zendaya’s hair locs make her “look like she smells like weed”. I’m sorry, how does a look produce a smell? Never mind the fact that black women always struggle with negative pressures to look and behave like White women. Never mind Black women are shamed for wearing natural styles and also feel compelled to spend hundreds of dollars (money they don’t often have) to get their hair to conform. This just shows the ignorance of some of these so-called feminists.
Even when feminists attack Black women for twerking or showing more skin, it irks me. For White Women, who come from a Christian-dominated culture and have ancestry from colder climates, twerking and showing skin is just sexualizing and objectifying.
But in other cultures, like Black culture, twerking has always been a form of self-expression for us. Before it was hijacked by pop artists, Black people expressed their souls through dance. As people who derived from a WARMER climate, showing skin was never a big deal. In fact, there are still tribes of women in many countries in Africa who go topless! I mentioned this before under the SWERF headline.
These types of feminists don’t recognize that their way is not always the only way. They don’t recognize their own prejudices and subconscious racism (which is the ideology that one race is inferior or superior to another). They don’t recognize how they isolate other women of color by not supporting them.
To these so-called “feminists”, all I have to say is get to stepping.
At this point, I want to wrap this up by re-emphasising my appreciation for most feminists and their efforts to try and push us toward a more inclusive and progressive society. However, I just had to bring this issue out. There are certain feminists that have been evolving out of the movement and I think it’s time someone warned others about them. They are mostly holding women back.
Leave me a comment and let me know what you think about my list. Do you agree with my list, that these feminists are cringe-worthy? Are there any others you would like to add? I’m open to discussion.
Generation Next 
Reblogged this on Generation Next and commented:
A Recap: 7 Feminists That Make Me Cringe
LikeLike