The 20s years. It’s normally the time when everyone is considered to be at their best. They are finally grown-up. Many are going to college or getting a job. Many are getting married and having children. Or just having children. And many usually look their best. The lanky girls turn into full-bodied women and the lanky boys turn into slim, tall men. No more short and lankiness, right?
Wrong for me. Along the way, something went wrong with me. Though I’m in my mid-20s, I’m still short and I’m still lanky. While many people might feel this has its advantages, it has far more disadvantages in my life than people would expect. Being super petite gets just as much stigma as being super large (just look at people’s comments regarding Miley Cyrus’s body).
Skinny
While majority of the world is crying over obesity, especially because today’s youth is so big, most people are giving me a problem because I look anorexic, even though I’m not. People are always telling me that I can slide through everything. Everyone tells me that I need to start eating more. One woman came up to me and said, “Stop exercising, you’ve done enough.” And I never exercise. EVER. I have had bouts of stomach disorders (where I couldn’t digest food due to high levels of stress from a stressful family life) several years ago, which contributed to my weight loss. But that was years ago. I eat a lot now. Yet, I don’t gain. This has been my challenge. It has proven to be a major hindrance, especially in the relationship arena.
When people seem overweight, at least you get some stares from guys. This is especially true in the African American community. I’ve had boys tell me I need to gain some weight because I don’t have curves. I’m not the skinny girls with the curves ya’ll. I’m the pole with the bulging abdomen (due to fibroids). Skinny girls like me normally don’t have anything to look at. It doesn’t get any further than my face in many instances.
To add, people think skinny girls are weak. They always think skinny girls can’t stand up for themselves. Some skinny girls even look strange when they fight. People just can’t even picture it. No one wants to even lose a fight to a skinny girl. It would be “too embarrassing”.
I get all the skinny taunts. I’ve been called cardboard, beanpole, noodle, string, and any other skinny nicknames you can think of. Someone joked that I’m so skinny, my butt doesn’t take up one-third of a cinema seat. Yea, it was really funny…for that person and his friends.
I’m a lot like f(x)’s Amber Liu: I’m constantly looking for my lost chest.
Short
Being short has been the hardest thing for me since high school. Everyone kept telling me, “Oh you’ll grow eventually”. I’m in my mid-20s, and I’m still the same size I was in 6th grade. For many women, they stop growing about a year or two after they menstruate. Well, I began that period at age 10. Apparently, I’m still the same size I was back then.
When I was in elementary school, I was taller than everyone, and bustier too. When I got to high school, all of a sudden I was shorter and lankier than everyone. People can’t even see me when they’re walking. I get pushed aside all the time. I can’t tell you how many people try to pick me up in the spirit of “fun”. People put their elbows on me as a resting stand.
I’m a teacher, and many of my students are taller than me. Of course, my voice is quite deep for a woman’s, so when I raise that voice, many of the students begin to respect me to some degree. But the height makes me less intimidating.
Skinny and Short
When you combine the two, you get a very young looking woman, and I don’t mean in a Shakira way. I’m more like a Miley Cyrus. Unlike most women my age, I look like a 12 year old. Most guys my age won’t even talk to me. I guess they’re afraid they would be looked at as a child molestor if they did. Most people just assume I’m a kid. Even before everyone realized I was a teacher at work, other teachers used to yell at me for walking the halls. I would have to correct them. Even some students would think that I’m their friend, and not their teacher.
Getting respect is very difficult. But just from reading this alone, you wouldn’t even really begin to understand this dilemma.
My younger cousins look older than me. My 12 year old cousin gets more stares than I do from men twice her age, which is awful. But I can’t get one look from one man my own age. All of the men I have approached have asked me to gain weight.
Exactly why I don’t date.
This guy was 30 when he played as Jackson on Hannah Montana!
I’ve tried everything to make myself look older. I’ve tried dying my hair, getting extra pierces, wearing heels, and even wearing tighter clothing. Instead of looking older, however, I just get a bunch of “Tsk, Tsk, her mother let her come out of the house like that?” I’ve gone to the docter about my condition. They ruled out everything.
Some television shows nowadays try to encourage women to love their bodies, and embrace who they are. For me, this is the hardest thing for me to do, especially because people don’t respect you professionally when they think you’re younger than you are. I feel you are as attractive as you want to be, but no one can make you look like an adult. I think I will be stuck with the “cute” compliment all of my life. My family tells me to appreciate it while it’s there. They tell me that I will gain weight eventually. I don’t know whether to believe them or not. People told me I would grow eventually, and that didn’t happen. I really hope it happens. I’m tired of shopping in the Junior’s section of every store. Most women want to look young but NEVER like a child! That’s too young! I feel that petite women are more unattractive than full-figured women. My full-figured friends get a lot more numbers at the club than I do.
So being a short and skinny woman hasn’t been a very nice experience for me. Is there anyone else out there who feels the same way? Or maybe you have a suggestion on how to make myself look older? Or maybe you have the opposite problem, and you’re huge for a woman. Share your story!
Even though she looked hot in this picture, her experience with this was stated to be “gross”. That’s how I feel.
I think I need a serious re-do. Leave a comment below with your experience or your advice!
Generation Next 